Cable guru Leslie Ellis has published a list of What Your Cable Tech Friends Want Under the Tree. The answers are supplied by various cable execs, and are, as you might guess, quite tongue in cheek. Here are some of the best (oddly all from Charter execs!), along with a couple of my own wish list items.
Doug Ike, VP of advanced video and applications for [Charter]… wants “a fully-featured, tru2way-based guide — that fits in a DCT-2000.” (Good luck with that.) Also on Ike’s wish list: A magic bandwidth wand. “Wave it over any congested plant and presto! Gobs more bandwidth…”
Marwan Fawaz, Charter’s CTO, seeks not just EBIF-based applications, but 3D EBIF apps…
Tom Gorman, VP of field operations for Charter, seeks a pair of “RF goggles,” to see how much signal is on the plant at any given location. Also on Gorman’s wish list: A “customer attitude leakage detector.” As a tech rolls up to a home, the gizmo glows in accordance with the customer’s demeanor, ranging from “happy go lucky” to “potential hostage taker…”
I’d add: a button on my remote control that turns 2D into 3D, an error-free blueprint for cable’s transition to IP video, and magically expanding broadband pipes. Oh, and a pony.